Family · Goals · Happiness · Life · Relationships · Social

Why do I say no to socials…?


Don’t you want to socialise?

I tap myself with that question quite too often & it’s definitely not a ‘No’.

Asking why?

Well…that’s a tough one to answer!!!…Maybe for the obvious reasons and that is to please the self by trying to have some good time in good company…or probably it’s just a quest of the mind seeking some diabolical sense of satisfaction.

Is it a matter of prestige to have a large circle of friends???

well, not really…it rather becomes a question of additional commitment.

Don’t you need a family beyond spouse, child or parents?

Maybe yes…maybe no…Not too sure.

And why would it have to be that way?

In today’s routine of life, family itself is a huge commitment in terms of time and energy after the daily hours spent at work. Do we have the capacity for anything more?

But what about friends? Don’t you want them?

Yes I certainly do. But the besties that I already have with me since aeon years are hardly able to get my proper attention nowadays. We have been besties practically the whole of our lives, who have stayed connected and ever available for the other come what may, though separated by time, place and distance. Do I need anything more? How would I be able to justify when I am unable to rationalise on what I already have?

But what about this need to feel ‘popular’ and ‘liked by many’? Don’t you want to fulfil that?

Sometimes I do wish I was someone that type but the next automatic question is how is that going to help anyway? Would it aid in making me anything better than the person I already am? Would it aid in making me battle my inner demons? Would it anywhere help me get over my insecurities, fears or flaws? Would it aid in my self-improvement?…my growth as a person?.. my growth in the spiritual sense? I would rather have some few stable friends & connections whom I can blindly rely upon at any point of time, rather than be in and out of associations with people whom I really don’t know.

But what about this ‘different self’ inside of you? Wouldn’t you want that side of yours to be understood…accepted?

Certainly yes but is that going to make any difference to the quality of life or even to the self? Again, is it going to make me feel good about myself, as in order to feel happy and fulfilled, my first step would be to understand and accept myself as an individual who has my own brand of strengths and faults, learn to live with them and improvise upon them. As they say, it all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it. So it’s only when I create that inner strength in me, through completely acceptance of myself, would I be able to give that power to myself to go out into the world and make myself accepted.

Do you feel dissatisfied in anyway?

I am really a fulfilled individual who is today carrying my own set of achievements that transcends over or even outclasses others, a clear success of years of hard work. I am on a completely different level (rather was always on a totally unique footing) and would be a moron to think of myself as inadequate. But more than that, personally, I am a kind, caring and loving person who never fails in my duties towards my loved ones.

Do you feel a sense of pride?

Yes and no…the pride stays unimportant compared to the sense of fulfilment of my quest for the goal, to attain which I went on to choose a different path…the goal was something that I was veritably clear about and could realise the way I want. But despite the outcomes, I have come out across as a balanced minded and level headed individual, that is certainly not very ordinary.

So what about socialisation? Do you don’t want to enjoy life now with a host of friends? Party endlessly…gossip…spend time outside of family?

Well…does everyone become our companion? Will these companionships last long enough that I give preference to these and compromise over my personal or family time? Are these not transient activities? Besides that, I am the kind of individual, rock solid and reliable, when it comes to my commitment to the small number of loved ones that I have and wish to always ‘remain available’ for them, though, to the larger world, I would always be a kind person, ever ready to guide and help whenever approached. But taking care of my smaller world would always stay my ‘first and foremost concern’ and working hard to accomplish that priority makes me feel content with my own self…for this is what keeps me connected to myself. I don’t think I would feel good if I slip to shift my focus outside of these. I cannot ignore or silence my inner voice for the external though it would make me more happy if the larger world is able to understand my preferences. But even in case they don’t, I can be fine.

My daily connect with my loved ones is extremely important to me. My bond with my besties that is based on real understanding and trust keeps up my spirits. I know they are there whenever I would need them and the fact keeps me happier.

Does it mean you are a person who lives in your own shell?

Yes and no!!!…’Yes’ because, my commitments are my shell. And ‘no’ because I am an individual, sharp and shrewd enough to know what I want and be able to effectuate my priorities to completion. So my decision to stay low on socialisation is rather a matter of choice than inability. Also do I need to connect myself to everything that I don’t believe in when what I really love is a simple and uncomplicated life? In the nutshell…I follow my heart 😊.

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